Adam Thomas

Adam T's Homepage

Welcome to my hand crafted home on the web. Click around in the categories above, scroll through this page to see what I'm up to - stay awhile and thanks for stopping by.

Recent posts

“Where do your Steam games go when you die?” → → link

May 23, 2024

I think probably think about this sort of thing too much. It’s one of the reasons I routinely consider giving up any kind of streaming service - I like the idea of leaving behind a media legacy and an explanation of who I was, for whomever might care to know.

The way to the center of the galaxy → → link

Feb 19, 2024

I love this idea. Knowing where you stand in the universe.

Joyce Carol Oates’s search for a self → → link

Dec 10, 2023

Thoroughly enjoyed this, all the way to its bones and its crunchy core. Felt for Joyce, and wondered about my own “self.”

The line of succession"" → → link

Dec 04, 2023

I’ve been watching The Crown S3 and got to thinking about the current state of the monarchy. What a tangle - how one gets to the top of the pile.

Daily wrap-up 14 Nov, 2023

Nov 14, 2023

This morning I am up slightly early. But only slightly. Just barely beat LW, who comes in to our bed almost every night. The only nights he doesn’t come are his terrible bedtime nights. He is afraid of the dark. His bed is small. Who knows what it may be day to day, but it throws off my morning routine when he’s there. I would like to awaken and immediately do my Epley Maneuver to work on my continued “sea legs.” Then apply the salycilic acid to my beloved plantar warts. Then come to the front room, which is my preferred room in the house. (Side note: in Hollis’s Biography of a Poem I learned that Eliot always composed his poems on a typewriter. I haven’t yet finished this book, but I’m soon going to check it out again from our library.) Then proceed to the front room. In our house I prefer the front room by the windows that look toward the street. It has 2 Ikea chairs with the lower to the ground seats, which I find more comfortable. It’s also closer to the coffee.

But the front room usually isn’t where I sit: I sit in the living room. This is where the dog likes to sit when I let him out. This is where the kids show up and want the TV on for a bit. This is the crossroads of the family in the morning; I need to monitor it to keep things moving. People need to be on time. But is it where I prefer to sit? No.

This is just one little example. Over and over through the course of years, I am motivated each day by how to please the people around me; how to give them what they want. And throughout, make myself feel a bit less human under each subsuming of my will.

My inner dialogue right now: “None of this rises above a trifle. You are a whiny little thing, aren’t you. People, especially grown-ups, do this all the time. In fact, this is the essence of adulthood: sacrificing your own will and desires for the good of your family, or of society, or of the project. So suck it up.”

I don’t have a good response to that right now. But something has to change. Somehow I need to reclaim a prior self.


Now

Updated: Nov 12, 2023

This is a now page. Essentially an answer to the question, “What have you been up to recently?” I update this page as the focuses of my daily life ebb and flow.

Feeling

I broke my Wordle streak this weekend - not on purpose - and I still felt fine about it. Didn’t even a slight pang of regret. Which felt like progress. Getting a bit of unencumbered enjoyment out of Wordle is the main reason I picked it up again.

I am feeling vaguely adrift. I’ll just leave it at that. I am also feeling proud of my kids for what they’re up to this school year - the progress they’re making.

I am also feeling physically beaten up. A new plantar wart developed near the heel of my left foot and it is dramatically impacting my steps. I am practically hobbling around. I am also still contending with the slight dizziness that I’ve felt since our Chicago trip last April. Yes, I’ve had sea legs since April - every moment of every day - except for a few hours one evening at the tail end of September. I’ve been dedicating myself to doing the Epley Maneuver every morning. All the while I’m worried that I’ll be stuck with these floating sensations for the rest of my life.

Thinking

On which day should I try to carve out music recording time? For how long? Should I get to that Christmas album?

On which days should I play pickleball with the seniors over at the Rec?

Will I ever actually get to know somebody here? What are the chances that my constant curiosity and reportage mindset will stop irritating those close to me?

Watching

The Fielder-verse.

  • The Rehearsal
  • Nathan For You
  • Scavengers Reign

Listening

  • Javelin, Sufjan Stevens
  • Again, OPN
  • Tim Hecker discography
  • Cousin, Wilco

Reading

  • The New Yorker
  • The Waste Land: A Biography of a Poem
  • Fates and Furies, Lauren Groff


Recent notes

Sun. Jul. 21, 2024 05:19:56 PM

We’ve been muddling through a trying ordeal of a soccer tournament. It’s at the beach. All the parking area flooded. And the weather has been bad. On again off again. Now it’s on again.

Sun. Jul. 07, 2024 07:17:31 AM

The warp and the woof of it all.

Fri. Jul. 05, 2024 01:18:57 PM

Let’s just take for example, Namibia.

Tue. Jun. 18, 2024 05:33:38 PM

Saw Inside Out 2. Enjoyed it and it was worth seeing. Not as thoroughly captivating as the first. BUT - the portrayal of Anxiety was spot on, I thought. The color orange seemed exactly the correct color. And the voice (Maya Hawke) evoked a touch of sympathy but also an edginess - it was always teetering on the verge of losing control - yet continued to stay the course and believe in her good intentions. Powerful.

Sat. Jun. 15, 2024 08:06:33 AM

For an unknown reason I’m thinking of the Iowa State Cyclone basketball teams of the early 2000’s. Eustachy’s teams. And when he showed up at that student party. And the star player was … someone … Tinsley. And the big guy — I can’t remember his name.

Tue. May. 14, 2024 10:08:05 PM

I’m getting quicker and quicker to just declare RSS bankruptcy and mark everything for a day As Read.

Sun. May. 05, 2024 11:35:28 PM

The thrill of finding a new sound or a song that speaks. It still makes my heart come to life and thump.

Wed. May. 01, 2024 06:48:12 PM

Mowed the grass today. Used one of my N95 masks, which didn’t leave me a pile of snot for the rest of the day after.

Thu. Apr. 25, 2024 07:48:57 PM

The way some parents converse about youth sports. It sounds like life or death. Maybe it is? Work, little one, to appease the watchful eyes, full of wrath and wild expectations.

Thu. Apr. 25, 2024 03:36:27 PM

Nobody cares about my life story, my thoughts, what I’m feeling, my opinion on any matter, what I did today or any day.